IRS Representative

Often I find that A Course in Miracles is a bit esoteric and ethereal. Other times, it is just in your face. A recent Workbook lesson (71), was of the in-your-face variety.
The ego's plan for salvation centers around holding grievances. It maintains that, if someone else spoke or acted differently, if some external circumstance or event were changed, you would be saved. Thus, the source of salvation is constantly perceived as outside yourself. Each grievance you hold is a declaration, and an assertion in which you believe, that says, "If this were different, I would be saved." The change of mind necessary for salvation is thus demanded of everyone and everything except yourself.
This SO applies to me more often than I would want to admit.

I am a board member of a relatively new non-profit organization. Back in July, I filed an application with the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) for the organization to be granted non-profit status. Now, contrary to what may be the experience of others, I have had a fantastic relationship with the IRS and have always found them timely, helpful, and responsive. That is, until recently.

If this were different, I would be saved

It took six months, but in the middle of January, I received a call from an IRS representative indicating that she had a list of questions about the application and needed my fax number so she could fax and mail the questions. I called her back, got her voice mail and left my fax number. The next day, no fax. So I called her back, got her voice mail again, and left another message with my fax number. The next day, no fax. I called her again, and finally talked with her, gave her my fax number and she said she would fax it "by the end of the week." I remember thinking, "Why would it take until the end of the week? Why not today?" But, it's the IRS so I didn't say anything. By Monday the following week, no fax. I began feeling the seeds of frustration.

If this PERSON were different, I would be saved FROM THIS FRUSTRATION.

By this time, it is early February. I call again and again for the next few weeks, leaving messages, no fax. Then MSU sets in (Making Stuff Up - Courtesy of Holly Green, author of More than a Minute) - In my mind I make up the story, "So this is how some government workers make it look like they have a lot of work to do and so many open cases." And then I start reacting to my own MSU - "She should be fired. I need to let her boss know the poor level of service she provides."

If this PERSON were different, I would be saved FROM THIS POOR SERVICE.

By this time it is late February and my patience has worn thin. I ask the Executive Director of the non-profit to call this person twice a day until a response is gotten. In early March, the ED reported, "No fax."

And then I saw all the judgment I have heaped on the agent, all the MSU I created, and I remembered, "I have projected this for my healing. This is my dream and she is my symbol showing me an area in me needing healing." And I forgave her for what I was doing to myself.

Two days later I was driving to work and the thought occurred to call her. When the censoring thoughts came ("It's 7:30 in the morning, why would a..."), I quickly let them go and made the call. The IRS representative answered, apologized for her fax machine which she learned from another client was saying faxes were sent but were not being distributed. I had the fax the next day.

The change of mind necessary for salvation is thus demanded of everyone and everything except yourself.
Do you wonder how much time and frustration I could have saved by changing my mind the first time? I don't know about the time, but certainly a little forgiveness would have saved A LOT of frustration.
May you have a peace saving day today!

In Joy,
Michael