I am facing a crisis of belief.
In his book Experiencing God, Henry Blackaby coins the phrase "a crisis of belief" to describe the time when your spiritual development and experience get you to the point where you recognize that your beliefs are out of align with your actions. In essence, you find yourself not "walking the talk." And you recognize that to continue your development, you have to...oh my...change.
A Course in Miracles calls it a period of unsettling, where you begin to recognize the valuable from the valueless. And, you know you want the valuable, but you seem to be continually making decisions for the valueless.
I am facing a crisis of belief.
Arten and Pursah in the Disappearance of the Universe underscore the point that by our ongoing practicing of forgiveness, we remember on a daily basis that we are spirit, at home with God. Yet my bodily-addicted ego would have me do otherwise. My ego wants me to continue to think I AM the body. And I can readily see that I have behaviors that continue to reinforce the importance of the body, or certain bodies, or certain body parts, or certain behaviors that glorify the body, or give pleasure to the body.
Let me not confuse the point. Enjoyment of the body is great! And Arten and Pursah make it clear, that we don't have to GIVE UP anything. The goal is to enjoy the body while seeing the complete unimportance. This means being willing to let go of all addictions when you are ready, being willing to see all bodies as the same when you are ready, and so on. And when I look at myself, I can see...I am still getting ready! And when I find myself giving high importance to the body, and not just enjoying it, I see the need for forgiving myself. I see the need for recognizing that in this moment I am still learning to let go. Yet that twinge of guilt is still present. And that too will have to be let go. Just the fact that I am reluctant to specifically identify my own addictions reminds me of the forgiveness needed.
You may also have behaviors that are getting in your way, behaviors not aligned with what you know to be true. You may be having your own crisis of belief. Please join me in knowing, as my father - a former Unity minister would say, "it has come to pass." As we continue to join with God, all that is unlike love will pass away!
In Joy,
Michael
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
IRS Representative
Often I find that A Course in Miracles is a bit esoteric and ethereal. Other times, it is just in your face. A recent Workbook lesson (71), was of the in-your-face variety.
The ego's plan for salvation centers around holding grievances. It maintains that, if someone else spoke or acted differently, if some external circumstance or event were changed, you would be saved. Thus, the source of salvation is constantly perceived as outside yourself. Each grievance you hold is a declaration, and an assertion in which you believe, that says, "If this were different, I would be saved." The change of mind necessary for salvation is thus demanded of everyone and everything except yourself.
This SO applies to me more often than I would want to admit.
I am a board member of a relatively new non-profit organization. Back in July, I filed an application with the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) for the organization to be granted non-profit status. Now, contrary to what may be the experience of others, I have had a fantastic relationship with the IRS and have always found them timely, helpful, and responsive. That is, until recently.
If this were different, I would be saved
It took six months, but in the middle of January, I received a call from an IRS representative indicating that she had a list of questions about the application and needed my fax number so she could fax and mail the questions. I called her back, got her voice mail and left my fax number. The next day, no fax. So I called her back, got her voice mail again, and left another message with my fax number. The next day, no fax. I called her again, and finally talked with her, gave her my fax number and she said she would fax it "by the end of the week." I remember thinking, "Why would it take until the end of the week? Why not today?" But, it's the IRS so I didn't say anything. By Monday the following week, no fax. I began feeling the seeds of frustration.
If this PERSON were different, I would be saved FROM THIS FRUSTRATION.
By this time, it is early February. I call again and again for the next few weeks, leaving messages, no fax. Then MSU sets in (Making Stuff Up - Courtesy of Holly Green, author of More than a Minute) - In my mind I make up the story, "So this is how some government workers make it look like they have a lot of work to do and so many open cases." And then I start reacting to my own MSU - "She should be fired. I need to let her boss know the poor level of service she provides."
If this PERSON were different, I would be saved FROM THIS POOR SERVICE.
By this time it is late February and my patience has worn thin. I ask the Executive Director of the non-profit to call this person twice a day until a response is gotten. In early March, the ED reported, "No fax."
And then I saw all the judgment I have heaped on the agent, all the MSU I created, and I remembered, "I have projected this for my healing. This is my dream and she is my symbol showing me an area in me needing healing." And I forgave her for what I was doing to myself.
Two days later I was driving to work and the thought occurred to call her. When the censoring thoughts came ("It's 7:30 in the morning, why would a..."), I quickly let them go and made the call. The IRS representative answered, apologized for her fax machine which she learned from another client was saying faxes were sent but were not being distributed. I had the fax the next day.
The change of mind necessary for salvation is thus demanded of everyone and everything except yourself.
Do you wonder how much time and frustration I could have saved by changing my mind the first time? I don't know about the time, but certainly a little forgiveness would have saved A LOT of frustration.
May you have a peace saving day today!
In Joy,
Michael
The ego's plan for salvation centers around holding grievances. It maintains that, if someone else spoke or acted differently, if some external circumstance or event were changed, you would be saved. Thus, the source of salvation is constantly perceived as outside yourself. Each grievance you hold is a declaration, and an assertion in which you believe, that says, "If this were different, I would be saved." The change of mind necessary for salvation is thus demanded of everyone and everything except yourself.
This SO applies to me more often than I would want to admit.
I am a board member of a relatively new non-profit organization. Back in July, I filed an application with the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) for the organization to be granted non-profit status. Now, contrary to what may be the experience of others, I have had a fantastic relationship with the IRS and have always found them timely, helpful, and responsive. That is, until recently.
If this were different, I would be saved
It took six months, but in the middle of January, I received a call from an IRS representative indicating that she had a list of questions about the application and needed my fax number so she could fax and mail the questions. I called her back, got her voice mail and left my fax number. The next day, no fax. So I called her back, got her voice mail again, and left another message with my fax number. The next day, no fax. I called her again, and finally talked with her, gave her my fax number and she said she would fax it "by the end of the week." I remember thinking, "Why would it take until the end of the week? Why not today?" But, it's the IRS so I didn't say anything. By Monday the following week, no fax. I began feeling the seeds of frustration.
If this PERSON were different, I would be saved FROM THIS FRUSTRATION.
By this time, it is early February. I call again and again for the next few weeks, leaving messages, no fax. Then MSU sets in (Making Stuff Up - Courtesy of Holly Green, author of More than a Minute) - In my mind I make up the story, "So this is how some government workers make it look like they have a lot of work to do and so many open cases." And then I start reacting to my own MSU - "She should be fired. I need to let her boss know the poor level of service she provides."
If this PERSON were different, I would be saved FROM THIS POOR SERVICE.
By this time it is late February and my patience has worn thin. I ask the Executive Director of the non-profit to call this person twice a day until a response is gotten. In early March, the ED reported, "No fax."
And then I saw all the judgment I have heaped on the agent, all the MSU I created, and I remembered, "I have projected this for my healing. This is my dream and she is my symbol showing me an area in me needing healing." And I forgave her for what I was doing to myself.
Two days later I was driving to work and the thought occurred to call her. When the censoring thoughts came ("It's 7:30 in the morning, why would a..."), I quickly let them go and made the call. The IRS representative answered, apologized for her fax machine which she learned from another client was saying faxes were sent but were not being distributed. I had the fax the next day.
The change of mind necessary for salvation is thus demanded of everyone and everything except yourself.
Do you wonder how much time and frustration I could have saved by changing my mind the first time? I don't know about the time, but certainly a little forgiveness would have saved A LOT of frustration.
May you have a peace saving day today!
In Joy,
Michael
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Forgiveness Principles
The Disappearance of the Universe has quickly become my favorite teaching device for learning to walk through this life as a spiritual being as opposed to a physical one. Far too often I still look up and find myself joining with the ego and thinking about myself as the physical Michael, or the husband Michael, or the business owner Michael, or the father Michael, or the son Michael, or the... on and on. And I am always comforted when I remember that I have made this choice only because I have temporarily forgotten who I am. And, at any time, I can choose to remember.
In the Disappearance of the Universe, we learn that one of the best tools for remembering is to start each day joining with the Holy Spirit. Our Practicing Forgiveness Group has adopted the following 7 Principles for Practicing Forgiveness as a way of joining.
1. In truth, right now, we are one in God. This has always been the truth, and truth never changes. And with truth comes the Peace of God.
2. We must let go of the belief that we are separate from God and separate from each other to experience the Peace of God.
3. When we forgive, we give up thoughts of separation for thoughts of Truth. It is our beliefs that seem to bind us and it is from these beliefs that we are set free.
4. When we forgive, we give a heavenly interpretation for our earthly experience. We see that what we think others did to us never occurred because this earthly experience is just a dream of separation.
5. When we forgive, we affirm our wholeness. We recognize that we are not bodies, we are one spirit. Whether we judge, blame, love, or lift up, we are doing it to ourselves because there is only one of us.
6. When we forgive, we lift everyone and every experience. We see everyone as spirit and one with God. We see every experience as an act of love or a call for love, and we respond with love.
7. As we walk through each day, we walk in forgiveness. We start each day affirming the truth; we invite the Holy Spirit to help us to see everyone and every experience as the Holy Spirit sees it. We forgive ourselves and others when we forget. We close each day joining with God in remembrance of our true home.
I affirm our joint remembering, this day!
In Joy,
Michael
In the Disappearance of the Universe, we learn that one of the best tools for remembering is to start each day joining with the Holy Spirit. Our Practicing Forgiveness Group has adopted the following 7 Principles for Practicing Forgiveness as a way of joining.
1. In truth, right now, we are one in God. This has always been the truth, and truth never changes. And with truth comes the Peace of God.
2. We must let go of the belief that we are separate from God and separate from each other to experience the Peace of God.
3. When we forgive, we give up thoughts of separation for thoughts of Truth. It is our beliefs that seem to bind us and it is from these beliefs that we are set free.
4. When we forgive, we give a heavenly interpretation for our earthly experience. We see that what we think others did to us never occurred because this earthly experience is just a dream of separation.
5. When we forgive, we affirm our wholeness. We recognize that we are not bodies, we are one spirit. Whether we judge, blame, love, or lift up, we are doing it to ourselves because there is only one of us.
6. When we forgive, we lift everyone and every experience. We see everyone as spirit and one with God. We see every experience as an act of love or a call for love, and we respond with love.
7. As we walk through each day, we walk in forgiveness. We start each day affirming the truth; we invite the Holy Spirit to help us to see everyone and every experience as the Holy Spirit sees it. We forgive ourselves and others when we forget. We close each day joining with God in remembrance of our true home.
I affirm our joint remembering, this day!
In Joy,
Michael
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