My thanks to all who offered their thoughts on the Practicing Forgiveness talk on Sunday! Muchly appreciated. The talk was very well received One of the comments made to me afterwards was that people seemed to gain clarity from the definition we give of forgiveness in our Practicing Forgiveness group:
To FORGIVE means to GIVE a heavenly interpretation FOR our earthly experience.
In essence, to forgive means to see with the eyes of God, and to think with the mind of God. God sees everyone of us as God created us - pure spirit and God knows that every act is an act of love or a call for love, and God always responds with love. Giving a heavenly interpretation for our early experience means we do as God does.
I also heard from people that Level 4 forgiveness - "I forgive you for what I did to myself" - was far out on the deep end for many. The idea that the life you seem to live is really just your dream and that you are home in God...this idea flies against everything we have be taught to be true. The idea that we are the creator of the dream while believing we are a body in the dream - seems far too unbelievable to be true.
The good news is that it doesn't matter whether you believe it is true or not. However, if you pretended that it was true...
Imagine the peace that you would carry with you pretending that everything you experience is just a projection you have created for your healing.
Imagine the amount of judgment and anger you could release when you pretended there is no one to get mad at - this person is just a projection you have created. They haven't done anything to you.
Imagine the guilt you could release when thinking about the things YOU have done of which you have felt ashamed and you can say, "When I was doing this I thought it was important to my salvation, but I was mistaken. This is just pointing out an area in me that appears to be in need of healing. I will choose differently when I am ready to wake up and be home in God."
As always, you teach what you need to learn. Oh, the lessons! Oh, the peace.
In Joy,
Michael
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Levels of Forgiveness
In preparing for the message I will be delivering on Sunday, I have spent some time thinking about how to differentiate levels of forgiveness. The goal is to help people look at what they believe forgiveness to be and invite them to consider practicing perhaps a higher level of forgiveness in their daily lives. Below is a snapshot of four levels of forgiveness I have experienced in my life.
Level 1
I forgive you for what you did to me…but I won’t forget.
Key belief: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
The sign: I still get upset anytime I think about it
Underlying belief: You were wrong and you are going to hell!
Level 2
I forgive you for what you did to me…because I am supposed to.
Key belief: The Master said, “Turn the other cheek.”
The sign: I still get a little upset when I think about it, but I feel a twinge of guilt because I believe I shouldn’t be feeling this way.
Underlying belief: As a good Christian, I am supposed to forgive and I am supposed to love my enemies. And you were wrong and you are going to hell!
Level 3
I forgive you for what you did to me…because you were just calling for love.
Key belief: I see everything as an act of love or a call for love and I respond with love.
The sign: When I think about the incident, I feel a little sad for you, and hopeful that you may choose differently next time.
Underlying belief: We are all spiritual beings created by the Divine. We do unkind things out of fear, out of a belief in scarcity and lack But this does not change who we are. We are just calling for love.
Level 4
I forgive you for what I DID TO MYSELF.
Key belief: I have projected this for my healing.
The sign: We seek to judge no one. We seek to change no one. Because we know there is no one out there.
Underlying belief: We are really homein God. The life we seem to be living is just a dream made up bya fearful mind. We are the creator ofthe dream, pretending to be a body in the dream. All thefigures in our dreamcome from us. They are acting outfor us.There is no injustice in the world, because we arecreating it all. Why do we create it? Sowe can blame someone else for what we are doing to ourselves. The ones we see and want to judge aresimply representative ofareas in us that needhealing. We heal by forgiving the imagesin the dream. If they are not guilty,then we are not guilty. As we forgiveothers, we forgive ourselves for what hasn’t really happened. And all that is left is the innocence of theHoly Spirit – our memory of our truehome.
My experience has been that I flip-flop between the levels, sometimes in the same week, often in the same day, same hour, and even the same conversation! Making practicing forgiveness a daily part of my life has helped to make me more aware of the daily acts of merciless judgment that peppers my thoughts, words and deeds. Interestingly enough: one way I know I'm getting better is that I'm seeing my judgment more often!
I welcome your thoughts on these four levels...especially before Sunday!
In Joy,
Michael
Level 1
I forgive you for what you did to me…but I won’t forget.
Key belief: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
The sign: I still get upset anytime I think about it
Underlying belief: You were wrong and you are going to hell!
Level 2
I forgive you for what you did to me…because I am supposed to.
Key belief: The Master said, “Turn the other cheek.”
The sign: I still get a little upset when I think about it, but I feel a twinge of guilt because I believe I shouldn’t be feeling this way.
Underlying belief: As a good Christian, I am supposed to forgive and I am supposed to love my enemies. And you were wrong and you are going to hell!
Level 3
I forgive you for what you did to me…because you were just calling for love.
Key belief: I see everything as an act of love or a call for love and I respond with love.
The sign: When I think about the incident, I feel a little sad for you, and hopeful that you may choose differently next time.
Underlying belief: We are all spiritual beings created by the Divine. We do unkind things out of fear, out of a belief in scarcity and lack But this does not change who we are. We are just calling for love.
Level 4
I forgive you for what I DID TO MYSELF.
Key belief: I have projected this for my healing.
The sign: We seek to judge no one. We seek to change no one. Because we know there is no one out there.
Underlying belief: We are really homein God. The life we seem to be living is just a dream made up bya fearful mind. We are the creator ofthe dream, pretending to be a body in the dream. All thefigures in our dreamcome from us. They are acting outfor us.There is no injustice in the world, because we arecreating it all. Why do we create it? Sowe can blame someone else for what we are doing to ourselves. The ones we see and want to judge aresimply representative ofareas in us that needhealing. We heal by forgiving the imagesin the dream. If they are not guilty,then we are not guilty. As we forgiveothers, we forgive ourselves for what hasn’t really happened. And all that is left is the innocence of theHoly Spirit – our memory of our truehome.
My experience has been that I flip-flop between the levels, sometimes in the same week, often in the same day, same hour, and even the same conversation! Making practicing forgiveness a daily part of my life has helped to make me more aware of the daily acts of merciless judgment that peppers my thoughts, words and deeds. Interestingly enough: one way I know I'm getting better is that I'm seeing my judgment more often!
I welcome your thoughts on these four levels...especially before Sunday!
In Joy,
Michael
Thursday, February 12, 2009
What happens when people feel your judgment more than they feel your love?
What happens when people feel your judgment more than they feel your love?
One of the things that practicing forgiveness is doing is making me more aware -- and often painfully so -- how much my judgment gets in the way of people experiencing the love I have for them. What do I mean? Well, in some ways, this practicing forgiveness stuff can seem pretty theoretical, pie-in-the-sky, metaphysical stuff:
This is my dream. All the figures in the dream are no more than a projection from the one mind that is projecting them. What I am seeing is what is in my unconscious mind so I can make it seem like others are guilty and so I can avoid having to deal with the tremendous guilt I feel about the seeming separation from God.
On the other hand, it is amazingly practical, down-to-earth, and immediate:
I can experience the peace of God RIGHT NOW by recognizing that every thing that anyone does is either an act of love or a call for love, and I respond with love. I can feel peace RIGHT NOW because I remember my and your true home and I see every situation as it really is.
For me, the "immediate" takes the form of my biggest forgiveness lessons which tend to take place at work and at home. I am naturally a teacher and often think I see ways that people could improve their lives and situations. (Of course I am only teaching myself!) Unfortunately, with someone who is focused on seeing ways to correct challenges, other people often experience it as judgment, and...
What happens when people feel your judgment more than they feel your love?
So to help remind myself to focus on the good, I have a sign on my desk "Whom did you praise today?" It helps, when I look at it!
The other day I had to deliver constructive feedback to an employee whose lack of follow-through was impacting clients and our internal team. My wife reminded me before the conversation to praise first. (Oh how well she knows me.) And her reminder? I promptly forgot.
So, half-way through the conversation with the team member -- which for some reason wasn't going well (any ideas why?) -- I remembered...
What happens when people feel your judgment more than they feel your love?
When I spent a minute speaking about the things that the team member was doing well, the conversation changed instantly. This put me in the space where I was offering to the team member how to get even better rather than pointing out what wasn't being done. This also put me in a space of not buying into the dream and saying that my happiness and my peace was dependent upon the team member changing.
And I forgave myself for forgetting.
In Joy,
Michael
One of the things that practicing forgiveness is doing is making me more aware -- and often painfully so -- how much my judgment gets in the way of people experiencing the love I have for them. What do I mean? Well, in some ways, this practicing forgiveness stuff can seem pretty theoretical, pie-in-the-sky, metaphysical stuff:
This is my dream. All the figures in the dream are no more than a projection from the one mind that is projecting them. What I am seeing is what is in my unconscious mind so I can make it seem like others are guilty and so I can avoid having to deal with the tremendous guilt I feel about the seeming separation from God.
On the other hand, it is amazingly practical, down-to-earth, and immediate:
I can experience the peace of God RIGHT NOW by recognizing that every thing that anyone does is either an act of love or a call for love, and I respond with love. I can feel peace RIGHT NOW because I remember my and your true home and I see every situation as it really is.
For me, the "immediate" takes the form of my biggest forgiveness lessons which tend to take place at work and at home. I am naturally a teacher and often think I see ways that people could improve their lives and situations. (Of course I am only teaching myself!) Unfortunately, with someone who is focused on seeing ways to correct challenges, other people often experience it as judgment, and...
What happens when people feel your judgment more than they feel your love?
So to help remind myself to focus on the good, I have a sign on my desk "Whom did you praise today?" It helps, when I look at it!
The other day I had to deliver constructive feedback to an employee whose lack of follow-through was impacting clients and our internal team. My wife reminded me before the conversation to praise first. (Oh how well she knows me.) And her reminder? I promptly forgot.
So, half-way through the conversation with the team member -- which for some reason wasn't going well (any ideas why?) -- I remembered...
What happens when people feel your judgment more than they feel your love?
When I spent a minute speaking about the things that the team member was doing well, the conversation changed instantly. This put me in the space where I was offering to the team member how to get even better rather than pointing out what wasn't being done. This also put me in a space of not buying into the dream and saying that my happiness and my peace was dependent upon the team member changing.
And I forgave myself for forgetting.
In Joy,
Michael
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
I could see peace instead of this.
I could see peace instead of this.
For those who are doing or have done the workbook lessons of A Course in Miracles (365 lessons - one for each day of the year), you will recognize yesterday's focus, Lesson #34: I could see peace instead of this. This has always been one of the more powerful lessons for me. Like few other lessons, it's insightful yet convicting message seems to always stay with me through out the day.
As I'm driving to work feeling a bit rushed...I remember that I could see peace instead of this.
After expressing my impatience with a co-worker...I could see peace instead of this.
As I think about the potential impact of the economy on our business ... I could see peace instead of this.
As I'm helping a passive-aggressive child with her homework...I could see peace instead of this.
As I'm feeling the pressure of a big assignment tomorrow...I could see peace instead of this.
And often, just saying it or just thinking it or just writing it, I feel peace as I remember my home with God.
May we all see peace this day, instead of...
In Joy,
Michael
For those who are doing or have done the workbook lessons of A Course in Miracles (365 lessons - one for each day of the year), you will recognize yesterday's focus, Lesson #34: I could see peace instead of this. This has always been one of the more powerful lessons for me. Like few other lessons, it's insightful yet convicting message seems to always stay with me through out the day.
As I'm driving to work feeling a bit rushed...I remember that I could see peace instead of this.
After expressing my impatience with a co-worker...I could see peace instead of this.
As I think about the potential impact of the economy on our business ... I could see peace instead of this.
As I'm helping a passive-aggressive child with her homework...I could see peace instead of this.
As I'm feeling the pressure of a big assignment tomorrow...I could see peace instead of this.
And often, just saying it or just thinking it or just writing it, I feel peace as I remember my home with God.
May we all see peace this day, instead of...
In Joy,
Michael
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