Business Busy

Because I want the peace of God, I remember that I am dreaming.

Over the last eight weeks I have found myself in "business busy" mode. This usually means that I have been so caught up in the dream I call my life that I have been "spiritually coasting" - that is, keeping the Holy Spirit grin on my face but not doing any focused work on my spiritual self. I feel in a sense that it has been a lot like being the hamster running on the wheel: expending a lot of energy, but not really going anywhere. And I forgive myself. Of course I know that learning comes even in seeming stagnation, and for this I am thankful.

In the Disappearance of the Universe, Arten reminds us how we give ourselves problems as a way of keeping us focused on the outer world. As he explains, problems are the ego's sure-fired defense against looking at and addressing the only true issue we all have -- our sense of separation from God -- an issue that can only be solved by going within.

When I accept even for the briefest of moments that I am truly home with God, when I find myself accepting, even if only for a brief period, that this is all my dream, this acceptance changes everything. How can I get irritated when a relative seems to be repeating the same old destructive pattern, when I am the one who is creating this? How can I get frustrated with the economy, when I am creating it. How can I get frustrated when a red light is taking too long to change, when it is all my dream? How can I beat myself up over something I did or didn't do yesterday, or did or didn't do 15 years ago, when I am really home with God?

Four years ago during the planning sessions that initiated our Practicing Forgiveness group, our planning team of four chose the following from The Disappearance of the Universe as the grounding statement that would start every Practicing Forgiveness meeting.
Because I want the peace of God, I remember that I am dreaming.
I forgive my projected images and myself for dreaming them.
I trust the Holy Spirit and choose His strength.
While the words had meaning to me then, they ring so much truer now. Walking on this forgiveness journey continues to show me the peace that comes with remembering. And while I don't always even want to remember, when I finally come to myself and do remember that I am spirit, home with God, the peace that comes - the relaxation and joy in the moment - is wonderful.

Here's to a week of remembering and forgiving!

In Joy,

Michael